Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Second Lady

Johnna Folsom is the first female governor of the great state of California. She is an independent politician, not associated with either the Democratic or Republican parties. The two parties selected their nominees for president of the United States. Johnna Folsom feels that she is the best qualified candidate to be the president of the United States.

As governor of the great state of California, she truly made it the greatest state in the Union by increasing employment and balancing the budget. She made everyone across the political spectrum happy. She proved she could govern. She proved she could manage the second largest bureaucracy in the United States. She proved she was ready for the biggest job in the county, and the world.

Johnna declared her candidacy after the major parties named their candidates. She was running as an independent, which meant it would be more difficult for her since she would not have the backing of the two big national political organizations. However her independence and her record as governor of California gave her wide appeal in a nation disillusioned by the two political parties of the United States.

Johnna began campaigning as the candidate to govern the United States and the world. She believed that her record as governor of California was proof that she could lead the masses and unite such a diverse population. Her history had shown that she could perform the duties of the chief executive of the nation, since her time as mayor of San Francisco and her time in the United States Senate representing California.

Governor Folsom is ambitious as her two male opponents of the two major political parties, but her success in the past has propelled her to front runner status for the highest job in the land. She is everyone’s favorite to be the next president of the United States.

With the governor’s success as front-runner against her two male opponents, Mayor Kathryn Grayson of Los Angeles enters the race. Mayor Grayson is very charismatic and an elegant speaker. She can lift up the lowest of spirits and fill them with the American dream. Her charm and beauty begin to elevate her to front-runner status.

Johnna realizes that she needs to become more human, like her new female competitor in this now four person race. Her ambition alone won’t get her to the Oval Office. She begins changing her stump speech from her history as a politician to that of a woman who struggled in a male dominated world. This new take on her campaign does not help her against the popular mayor of Los Angeles.

Mayor Grayson’s political history begins to catch up with her. It is soon revealed that while she was a member of the city council, she hired illegal immigrants to work at her home. This tarnishes her image and any chance she had of becoming a viable contender for the presidency. This event also returns Governor Folsom to the leading candidate in the polls against her two male rivals.

Governor Folsom looks to be the next president at this point in the race. Her ambition aside, she continues to present her human side for the remainder of the campaign, something she hasn’t done her political life.

On election night, the first returns show her in a three way tie with her two opponents. As the night goes on it becomes clear that the Democratic candidate is the projected winner. Governor Folsom is able to garner enough electoral and popular votes to place her in second place. Her candidacy divided the Republican vote, giving the election to the Democratic candidate.

During her concession speech, Governor Folsom acknowledges her loss but doesn’t give up on the hope that someone that doesn’t look like the other presidents can eventually grow up to be president.

Friday, April 11, 2008


Based on “Oedipus”

Leonard and Judith were a happy couple living in the farming community of Turlock, California. Although they were not farmers, Leonard owned a fabric store which he inherited from his father. Leonard recently had called Miss Cleo, a psychic who advertises on late night television. The psychic told him that if Leonard had a son, he would grow up and kill him and then marry his mother. Leonard was not afraid because he had no sons, just three girls. However after the conversation with the psychic Judith surprised Leonard with the news that she was pregnant.

Leonard became a little paranoid over the next nine months. He kept assuring himself that it would be another girl since they had three in a row. Judith did not want to know the gender of the baby, so Leonard had to wait until delivery to find out if it was a boy or a girl.

Finally nine months had passed and out came the baby. It was a healthy baby boy. On this joyous day all Leonard could think of was his conversation with the psychic all those months ago. When the two were left alone with their new born son, Leonard sprung the story on his wife. She slapped him and told him he was crazy to list to some pot head psychic.

The new baby boy finally made it home from the hospital, but all Leonard could think about was the future which lied ahead for him. He had to find a way to get rid of his new son. He couldn’t kill him, even if his son were to kill him in the future. He went on Craigslist to search for new parents for his son or a possible kidnapper. Leonard had no luck, so he decided to post an ad for a “fresh baby boy.” Within minutes Leonard received multiple responses. Some were from real perverts and others from couples who seemed real genuine and interested in raising a baby boy. Leonard turned down any gays, lesbians, interracial couples, or Star Trek fans, before settling on a nice old couple from Gustine.

Leonard arranged to deliver his new baby boy to the old couple from Gustine. They seemed real excited and happy to have an opportunity to raise a baby boy. Leonard made it look as if someone broke into their home and kidnapped their baby boy to appease Judith. Life for the two would be difficult as they dealt with the loss of their baby boy.

The old couple from Gustine quickly took their new baby boy and sold him on the black market.

They sold the baby boy to Peter and Mamie, a young couple from Colfax located at the northern end of the American River. Peter and Mamie were unable to have children of their own. So given the opportunity to get one, what with adoptions being such an arduous process, they drove down to Gustine to pick up their new baby boy. The old couple had the newborn wrapped in blankets inside an Oscar Meyer Weiner box. Peter decided to name their new baby boy Oscar because of the box he slept in. The young couple drove home with their new baby boy.

Oscar loved his box so much he continued to sleep in it until one night a growth spurt hit and collapsed the entire box.

The young couple loved their new son Oscar and raised them as if he were their own. Time went on and Oscar knew nothing of his past, believing that Peter and Mamie were his biological parents.

On the night of his eighteenth birthday he and his friends did what any one who just turned eighteen years old would do, they called the psychic hotline. Oscar called Miss Cleo, still airing the same commercial she had aired all those years ago when a man from Turlock called in. The psychic gave Oscar some grim news. Oscar would kill his father and wed his mother. While Oscar fought with his father as any father and son would do on occasion and he did think his mother was extremely hot, he no desire to kill his father or marry his mother. He did think about sex with his mother, but not marriage.

So one night Oscar left Colfax without saying a word to his mother or father. He wanted to escape before any possible crime could occur. He wanted to get as far away as possible from Colfax. Oscar began his journey down Highway Five.

Also traveling on Highway Five, but in the northern direction, was Leonard. He was on his way to San Francisco for a fabric convention. Leonard pulled off to one of the gas stations off of Highway Five to fill up his fabric filled van. The gas station was packed with patrons. One of the customers was Oscar; he did not pull his vehicle all the way up aggravating Leonard. If Oscar had just pulled up Leonard would be able to use the one available pump. Leonard started yelling at the young man as to what an idiot he was for not pulling up. Oscar looked at how far up his car was and then looked back at Leonard. Oscar flipped him off.

Leonard could not take such a gesture. He got out of the van and rushed over to Oscar’s car. Leonard pulled out a knife and slashed the front tire. Oscar was surprised. He took the gas pump and sprayed the van with it dowsing the van with gasoline. Leonard got back in his van and started up the engine not realizing that the spark of the engine would ignite the gasoline. Oscar got in his car and drove over to the tire store next to the gas station to repair his tire.

While he waited for his car to be fixed he watched as the paramedics arrived at the gas station. Leonard’s crisp body was removed from the van. They used one of the surviving pieces of fabric to cover the body. No one saw that Oscar had sprayed Leonard’s van, and the explosion must have looked like a freak accident. Unbeknownst to Oscar, one of the Miss Cleo’s sayings had been fulfilled. With Oscar’s car ready to go, he returned to the road.

A little paranoid, Oscar decided to stay off Highway Five. He eventually ended up in the farming town of Turlock. He checked in at a motel. He stayed the night. The next day he decided to sell his car and buy a new vehicle. He got a great deal on a van and decided to take it. Oscar took the van for a spin around town. He came across the fabric store owned by Leonard.

There was a sign in the window which read “Help Wanted. Owner Recently Deceased.” Oscar decided to take the low key job. He walked into the store and was greeted by an attractive woman named Judith. She was in tears and in need of both consoling and help at the store. He put his arms around Judith to console her. He held her all night as she wept and well into the morning.

The next day she invited him to stay with her at her house. Instead of offering Oscar the couch or one of the girl’s bedrooms, now off at college. She offered him her bed with her in it. Oscar accepted.

The two kept busy both at the fabric store and in the bedroom. Soon the two were married fulfilling the other prophesy of Miss Cleo. Judith and Oscar lived happily together running the store and sexing it up in the bedroom. But soon sales at the fabric store started to go south, a larger chain store had opened up in town. Oscar did not know what to do. He could not compete with the big chain store. He decided to call Miss Cleo.

Once again he called the psychic and she once again gave the message she gave before. She informed him that it all came true. He could not believe it. He told Judith what the psychic had told him. She collapsed upon the news and died. Oscar was devastated.

He closed down the fabric store and decided to leave the town of Turlock. He never wanted to see rolls of fabric again. He headed north to grow grapes to make wine so he could continuously drown his sorrows. All Oscar had with him, aside from his doom and dreams of wine, was his daughter-half-sister Angela. She was the only joy in his life and remained with him until the day he died a drunken wino.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

my first published piece: "afternoon delight"

here is my first published's for the now non-functioning trajan magazine:

4:20 a time that brings a smile to the faces of many. When in the distant past the time of 3:00, or whenever schools were released, was a time on the clock that many looked forward to, it has since become later in the afternoon. 4:20, to many, comes twice in the day, a.m. and p.m. The numbers also have their own day on the calendar, the 4th month and 20th day. Marijuana has become synonymous with those numbers since 1971. It was then in 1971 at 4:20 p.m. when a small group of smokers at San Rafael High School in California met at a specific location to light up all the while creating an everlasting imprint on the marijuana culture.

Since then smokers around the world have made 4:20 their time to light up. Their light up time is illegal however. Legalization has been denied by the United States government since 1937. However ten states have recently legalized or decriminalized marijuana for medicinal purposes. Proponents of marijuana believe that it should be legalized for both medicinal use as well as recreational use. The governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, does not believe that marijuana is even a drug. He calls it a leaf, according to an interview with the British edition of GQ. He considered weight-lifting to be a drug, not some leaf. The leaf that heals and brings pleasure to the recreational user is also believed to lead to harder non-leaf drugs.

If we ignore Governor Schwarzenegger’s label of marijuana as simply a leaf and call it a drug, it would then be considered a lower level drug. Marijuana as a lower level drug would then lead the user to a much harder drug. This makes marijuana, along with tobacco and alcohol, gateway drugs. Gateway drugs is more of theory and the belief is that the user starts with the lower forms of drugs and then goes on to the harder drugs of choice like cocaine or heroin.

If the marijuana user chooses to move on to the harder drugs it would be their choice. However that choice would come with some consequences. Marijuana is non-habit forming and no one has ever died from smoking too much marijuana. The drugs beyond the gateway, such as cocaine and heroin are highly addictive and if used too much can be lethal, or at least destructive to the human body.

Hopefully we will see the day when the use of marijuana is decriminalized or it is simply legalized. Marijuana needs to be seen for what it is and not for what it is being portrayed as a harmful and addictive drug which would lead to even worse drugs. It is a healing leaf as well as a non-harmful and non-habit forming recreational leaf, especially when compared to alcohol and tobacco as well as the drugs beyond the gateway. The time may or may not come when marijuana is treated as nothing more than a recreational enjoyment or for medicinal purposes. Until that time comes we will always have 4:20.